The Lost E-mail © Copyright, LdyJessika, 1999

I had been deleting e-mail to my screen name Frank. Per usual with e-mail most of it was spam and hoax mail. I went to delete one that had a subject line, "Frank, I miss our e-mails" - then thought oh hell let’s see what this one says and I opened it. After reading the opening line I realized it was to someone that had the screen name previously and obviously not to me. But it was one of the few e-mails that held my attention for the first few lines. Maybe she had never meant to send it. Maybe she needed to just say it to someone. Obviously she didn’t know I just had this screen name a few weeks and she certainly didn’t know no one had ever sent me anything like this. I read it with amazement since I'd never write something like this and I certainly never would bother with cyber sex! It said:

Frank: Without you on line at night I simply sit and stare at a blank screen. Where are you but more I wish I knew where did it go? All I ever wanted was for you to want me. To need me like a man needs a woman, even out here. To let me close my eyes and imagine your hands moving slowly through my hair. To let me need you and want you. Nothing more – nothing in real life. Was that so much to ask? Is that so wrong? It was all so strong with you…the feelings…the wanting. It was nice just knowing at the end of the day you would be with me for a few hours out here.

I remember our last time on line…writing together. I’ve savored the dream we created in our on line world. I wonder if you remember that we had said the ocean was a blue of the deepest hue. The sky a brilliant reddish-orange as the sun kissed the sunset in wild abandon. The warm breeze caressed our bodies as slowly piece by piece our clothes floated to the sand like flower petals on a loving breeze. Our eyes never leaving the gaze of the other we moved to a song only we heard. Not touching but standing apart we leaned slowly in the same mirror movements. Then are bodies drifted as if by a magnet to each other and we slowly slid down, until the soft blanket met my back. I can close my eyes and see you above me blocking out the sky…looking down at me with your crystal clear eyes. Arching my back toward you my breasts were kissed by the breeze as your lips lowered…slowly…closer…gently over my peaked, sensitive nipple. A deep sigh escaped my lips as your mouth started to suck and lick…pulling the sensitive hardened flesh, so it needed to swell for you – for only you. Your hands were like warm velvet running over my body. Everywhere they touched was magic. I could feel my body moving to their demanding touch. The wetness between the sweet lips of my flesh starting at just feel of your masculine touch on my flesh.

I heard your deep voice groan, "Close your eyes. Let me! Let me!"

My answer then, as it was every night, and would be every night from then into time was to close my eyes and answer breathlessly, "Yes, I want you, Frank!"

Your lips were running over my breasts, caressing them…loving them. With my eyes closed my hands ran over your shoulders and your skin was smooth…masculine. If time would let me I’d spend an eternity running my hands over your flesh...inhaling your scent…kissing and caressing you. My nails raked down your shoulders marking you as belonging to only me - Mine. I know you felt it by your satisfied moan. I was consumed with your scent…with your touch. With my eyes closed I knew your smile, your hair, your long, tapered fingers.

Your voice was lower as you kissed your way up to my lips, "Let me!"

Whimpering I could only answer, "Yes!"

I could feel your knee sliding between my closed thighs. Pushing, until my legs straddled your leg. With my eyes closed I could still see you over me. I felt your arms on either side of my body as your lips covered mine and your tongue met mine. My legs spread wider and I felt you moving between my thighs, resting your hard flesh against my flesh.

Your lips kissing my ear, whispering, "Let me….let me!"

Sliding my hands down your spine to your tight ass cheeks I dug my nails into your muscled flesh, arching my hips up I pleaded, "Please!" We moaned in unison as you positioned your hips. My legs came up to wrap around your waist and I pulled your lips back to mine. Words are useless now. The time for asking and letting lost in one powerful motion of possession and giving! I needed you so badly – your strength – your love.

With the feel of your body covering mine we began moving in our own dance…our own slow rhythm. Kissing in need I felt you pushing into my body deeper…pulling out – then, thrusting your possession home. It was the freedom I needed to feel. Feeling my breasts rubbing on your chest…my legs locked around you waist…I needed you. You knew it. You wanted it. You possessed me in a way I never knew I could give to a man, or that a man could take from me!

Over and over I felt you taking and my body arching to meet yours. Writhing beneath you in unbridled heat I climbed with you. Your flesh encouraging me in an unconscious dance of primal rhythm to join you. With restless abandon I gyrated under you while whimpering and your groans raged louder…more demanding… higher!

Your lips left mine and you groaned, "Let me!" I answered "Yes, with me!"

The fury of motion that let loose as we rode the wave of passion was heated flesh. Your muscles tightened as you raged into my body. Taking my hips with you in a plunging demanding frenzy of melting need - until the sensations became blinding and tense. In a blinding, pulsing release I knew you felt me come in an exploding climax of sensation.

My teeth bit into your shoulder and my whimpered scream was matched with your low growl of primal satisfaction. My legs locked around you in my final explosion of shattering release - I cried your name, Frank – Frank I need you - into the sunset. I felt your entire body shudder as your slamming thrust of climax rammed deep as you stiffened in release! Throwing your head back you cried my name to the universe, as if we were the only two in existence. My legs fell to the blanket as if they were now made of liquid - you rested on me. My finger-tips stroked your back as we returned to the world around us and we slept.

Do you remember? I still need you like that even though we can never meet. Frank, please answer – if only to say goodbye.

Love Lea

I read the e-mail at least three times amazed at how sexual it was reading e-mail to me. Well, e-mail to this other Frank. I was surprised how sensual she could write to Frank and what a jerk that other Frank must have been. I wondered how to answer her and not hurt her feelings that I was not the Frank she wanted. I started numerous times by saying I wish I was the Frank you wanted to reach and I’m sorry he hurt you.

I finally started: Dear Lea, I remember - I agree we can never meet, but as you said - out here things are a different world. After reading this e-mail from you I’ve discovered I need more e-mail from you – let’s start completely new. Did I ever tell you about how I sit here wishing …...